So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
