Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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