Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
