Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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