Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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