Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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