We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
