why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
