I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
