just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
