I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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