Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
