1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
