areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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