Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
