I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
