He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
