I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
