I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
