ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
