Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
