can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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