I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
