Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
