this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
