Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
