areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
