What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
