very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
