Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
