I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
