Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we made out on top of his cat.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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