just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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