just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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