Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
