Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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