Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
