So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
