I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
