You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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