i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
