Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
porn star boner night. come get it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
