Don't you send me to vm
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
this hospital has no fireball
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
