mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
