About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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