Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
