So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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