dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
