I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
