that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
