maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
